Daisy vs the Kitten

Dimpled daisy
Whimsy and lazy
Growing in a flower bed
Kitten’s swayze
Smitten and brazen
Arrived where butterfly’s led
Tipsy and ditsy
Kitten’s in a fixy
Trapped and tangled in the stems
Poor little daisy
Trampled by the crazy
Kitten’s romp in daisy’s bed

i thought i'd posted these a while ago but i guess not

November 2007

 

My Dear

My dear my dear he’ll just repeat
Until I find I’ve moved my feet
My dear he will call after me
Until I find I cannot see
His face nor hear his fervent call
“my dear” hides now behind a wall
My dear my dear he echoes on
Alas my dear has finally gone.
Without my dear, what shall he do?
Go find out, he’ll my dear you too.

 

Coffee Cup

Cup Cup you are my darling sweet
From which I take my favorite treat.
You smooth sides fit my grip so well
With your shape of an inversed bell.
Straight from your op’ning some may lap
Some may adorn you with a cap
And a straw or a Porcelain strap
Or even shape you like a cat.
No matter what form you might take
I will be grateful for your sake
Without you I’d not stay awake
but glare bleary eyed at daybreak
thus with you always by my side
I hope to see many a sunrise.

i am sick but i will not reveal it
not to  my friends
not to my parents
not to the one who holds me close
i struggle to fight but i'm failing
with food
with medications
with sunlight
they would make me better
if i remember them
remembered the world beyond my cozy coffin
Coordination is replaced with scratches
Creeking hinges over ride my piano
Chords traded for my arm.
Chest buckles from the weight of my skin
Circulation leaves my legs purple
an arrow pierces my left breast to my back
another from my hip to my kidney
i've lost weight
muscle carved from my bones
starved of nutrition
even as I eat
my body stopped receiving
for what pours in
pours out
loosened by the blood lining my guts.
I self medicate with Christmas
red meat, green vegetables.
Still I I fear if I ate the Eiffel tower
my bones will continue collapse
tender as stewed chicken.
I wonder if i will faint
as the room spins in circles
I wonder if anyone would catch me
if i fell.
but i will not
I continue on my own
because this is my fault
despite what they say
when five years ago
thirteen pills and water from the faucet
enlarged the hole inside me
and would not make his touch go away
and the scolds of my mother
and the shame of his brother
and the secret that will never be repeated
except to one person at a time.
the weaker i grow, the stronger my resolve
to pretend this isn't happening
that it will disappear with the time
and i will not find myself
asleep on a train
heading out of town
because i cannot wake up
and each morning i curse the sun
and its bright glare hides the time on my clockface
and i wonder how to make it go way
if its worth the effort of another day
if its worth the effort to share my burden
and make more worry
for what i should take care of myself
i live with the pain as punishment
the pain i cannot inflict on my skin
scars deep on the insides
the cherished pain is my lover
allowing me to atone and i wonder
if he ever thinks of it but i will never know
for the secret never spoken of
except for one person at a time
and so my secret, my perforated insides
seep with blood that i cannot drink
and i wonder who will catch me
if i chose to fall
who will build the scaffolding to allow me to breath
who will oil the hinges and allow me to sing
who will make the world stop spinning
who will sew the holes inside
that thirteen piles and faucet water couldn't fill